So I am learning that things are definitely not always easy... at all. I have probably already said this before.. but I realize it more an more every day.
As September begins to roll nearer and nearer, the reality that I moving really starts to hit home. I'm excited to move on in my life and get out of this town that I have been in for most of my life so far, but it's the little things that are keeping me from wanting to do so as soon as might be best.
My best friend Robby recieved his mission call a while ago... he leaves for Brazil on October 6th, 2009.... a little less than 2 months away. The idea of him leaving for Brazil has me excited for him and also very very sad at the same time. I idea of not seeing him for 2 years hurts very badly because he has been the momst amazing friend anyone could ever ask for. picking me up from hospitals at 4am, giving me great advice, talking to me about things that bother me and being over protevtive at times... he's been the best guy pal in the history of the world.. even if he is the biggest jerk in the world at times too. But if I leave for school now, then I may not be able to be there to say goodbye before he leaves for 2 years and I most definitely not ready to say goodbye right now. And who knows if I will be able to fly up for his goodbye party :(.
But, nevertheless, he will come home eventually, and I need to be doing something somewhere else while he is gone to take my mind off things. My friend Brett doesn't get home from his mission for a little over a year still, so I need to be making something of myself. Otherwise when they get back all I will have accomplished is sitting around looking for jobs and doing nothing other than that.
I'm not a big fan of change. I used to dump my boyfriends when they would cut their hair because i hated change so much. shallow, i know, but keep in mind that was like middle school and super early high school, haha. Anyway, I think of how much silly thing that that would bother me, and then I look at my plans for now... I don't have any idea what I am doing or why i am doing it... all I know it that I need to.
Funny thing is that i have never been to Utah (where I am moving)... but i know I need to go there. I know that it is the best place for me to be while by best friends are away and unable to help me in person and unable to look me in the eye and tell me things will be ok. i know that by going through with this plan I will be able to make more friends... maybe some like Robby and brett... and that I will become spiritually stronger and better able to do things on my own and handle what life throws at me. I know I will be able to really test myself in new ways and I am terrified of that... but I am also really looking forward to it.
i know change is something I need.
and I don't want it totally yet... but I will go through with it. I know I must.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
The Hair Fiasco
So, last night my most recent hair fiasco decided to present itself to me.
You see, I have been dying my hair since the 6th grade, so I don't really know exactly what my natural hair color is. I know when I was little it was a dirty blond, but it was always getting darker but then it would get lighter again... so basically what happens is I always just end up guessing. However, the summer before my junior year I just thought, "well, maybe I'll just go black for something a little more daring". HA... fun while it lasted... but then turned out that it's very hard to dye your hair a new color after you go black. I did bleach streaks in my hair for my high school graduation. They were "rocket fire red" and totally in, haha. But... in the end after a few months I was sick of having to continuously dye them red over and over, so I let them fade to a gold blond. then I dyed it all black again... and then a year ago I bleached it all and it ended up being a weird bronze. After that I dyed the bottom half black and the top half a bronze-y gold-ish color... then chopped some hair off and put some pink streaks in there on one side... then went and got a short A-line and died it a dark mahoganny. After THAT I bleached a patch in the front under my bangs and dyed that a dark blue... that was super cool. But then I dyed it all black again and up until last night it has stayed that way.
HOWEVER, last night i was so sick of always having to dye my hair over and over so my roots didn't show that I wanted to bleach it all again so it would be a lighter color so I can dye it another color and then the roots can grow in a darker shade and look more natural and I won't feel so obligated to keep killing my hair after this. HOWEVER... we forgot not to dye the roots with the bleach so at the moment I have LIGHT roots and a darker bronze color for the rest. YIPPEE! But o well... the dye will be here soon and I won't look so silly.
O me and my silly hair adventures. it's all worth it though. Life is funny :)
You see, I have been dying my hair since the 6th grade, so I don't really know exactly what my natural hair color is. I know when I was little it was a dirty blond, but it was always getting darker but then it would get lighter again... so basically what happens is I always just end up guessing. However, the summer before my junior year I just thought, "well, maybe I'll just go black for something a little more daring". HA... fun while it lasted... but then turned out that it's very hard to dye your hair a new color after you go black. I did bleach streaks in my hair for my high school graduation. They were "rocket fire red" and totally in, haha. But... in the end after a few months I was sick of having to continuously dye them red over and over, so I let them fade to a gold blond. then I dyed it all black again... and then a year ago I bleached it all and it ended up being a weird bronze. After that I dyed the bottom half black and the top half a bronze-y gold-ish color... then chopped some hair off and put some pink streaks in there on one side... then went and got a short A-line and died it a dark mahoganny. After THAT I bleached a patch in the front under my bangs and dyed that a dark blue... that was super cool. But then I dyed it all black again and up until last night it has stayed that way.
HOWEVER, last night i was so sick of always having to dye my hair over and over so my roots didn't show that I wanted to bleach it all again so it would be a lighter color so I can dye it another color and then the roots can grow in a darker shade and look more natural and I won't feel so obligated to keep killing my hair after this. HOWEVER... we forgot not to dye the roots with the bleach so at the moment I have LIGHT roots and a darker bronze color for the rest. YIPPEE! But o well... the dye will be here soon and I won't look so silly.
O me and my silly hair adventures. it's all worth it though. Life is funny :)
Friday, May 1, 2009
5/1/2009
Today has been quite a day. Kind of boring, yet still interesting.
Woke up to a Justin Timberlake song, took a shower, went outside and viewed my car window which I had to ducktape a plastic bag over last night because the window won't roll up, re-ducktaped the window, washed my car (in the rain), unloaded everything that was still in my car after my move, and now here I am.
Now I am thinking about the possibility of driving over to my parent's house to get my window fixed by my dad... but the idea of driving over there and possibly being rained on is sort of keeping me from doing so. So, while I debate in my head about what to do about the window situation, I'm wandering around on google looking up pictures and articles on anorexia and bulimia (random, I know). But guite interesting.
EVERYONE.. never be anorexic OR bulimic. There are much better ways to lose weight... like eating healthy and exercising.
Well, anywho... the little boy who lives with the family I am living with just got home and is throwing his paper airplane around. I think he should be an aeronautical engineer someday.... you should see his drawings of his planes. They are quite fantastic.
To end this session, I am going to go eat some zesty pickles, and maybe watch The Neverending Story. Who knows. It's raining... there's nothing to do... may as well watch a movie.
Good day
Woke up to a Justin Timberlake song, took a shower, went outside and viewed my car window which I had to ducktape a plastic bag over last night because the window won't roll up, re-ducktaped the window, washed my car (in the rain), unloaded everything that was still in my car after my move, and now here I am.
Now I am thinking about the possibility of driving over to my parent's house to get my window fixed by my dad... but the idea of driving over there and possibly being rained on is sort of keeping me from doing so. So, while I debate in my head about what to do about the window situation, I'm wandering around on google looking up pictures and articles on anorexia and bulimia (random, I know). But guite interesting.
EVERYONE.. never be anorexic OR bulimic. There are much better ways to lose weight... like eating healthy and exercising.
Well, anywho... the little boy who lives with the family I am living with just got home and is throwing his paper airplane around. I think he should be an aeronautical engineer someday.... you should see his drawings of his planes. They are quite fantastic.
To end this session, I am going to go eat some zesty pickles, and maybe watch The Neverending Story. Who knows. It's raining... there's nothing to do... may as well watch a movie.
Good day
Monday, April 27, 2009
Keep Pushing
Life is often tough to get through. It throws unexpected things your way and sometimes you can't really understand or see how you will ever be able to get through it all. We have days where we feel like we are all alone and no one cares and we just want to give up.
But what we don't usually realize at that moment is that while all of this is happening, we are being made to be a stronger and more wise human being with life experiences and lessons that we may find useful someday down the road. We can use the lessons we learn now to help others out when they encounter similar problems and we can also look back on these times during other bad times as a reminder that we will make it through and that this is not permanent.
While our trials may seem like too much to handle at this very moment in time, they are all going to make us better people in the long run if we deal with them the right way and keep pushing forward.
Don't let the hard times get you down. Keep on pushing. Look at it as a challenge you're going to beat no matter what. Put your trust in the Lord's hands and he will keep you safe and help you to get through.
But what we don't usually realize at that moment is that while all of this is happening, we are being made to be a stronger and more wise human being with life experiences and lessons that we may find useful someday down the road. We can use the lessons we learn now to help others out when they encounter similar problems and we can also look back on these times during other bad times as a reminder that we will make it through and that this is not permanent.
While our trials may seem like too much to handle at this very moment in time, they are all going to make us better people in the long run if we deal with them the right way and keep pushing forward.
Don't let the hard times get you down. Keep on pushing. Look at it as a challenge you're going to beat no matter what. Put your trust in the Lord's hands and he will keep you safe and help you to get through.
Love
What is love?
- love is when you don't want to imagine life without that person
- you would do anything to make that person happy
- you hate to see them sad
- you want to be there for them when they are sick or hurt and make sure they get better
- love doesn't always go both ways
- you would rather be friends with that person than not have them in your life at all, no matter how much it hurts
- it can be the best or worst feeling in the world... or both at the same time
- you love their flaws
- you would love them the same or even more even if they lost all their limbs
- you can't imagine your life without them in it
- you can't stand the idea of them ever being with anyone else
- you support them in anything they want to do and encourage them
- you don't know what it is until you feel it
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